"I'm afraid you didn't pass this paper ..........’’
My mind blacked out as I read those words. Failure is not a word I come across normally, alhamdulillah. In fact, I'd say in my life I never failed anything. Or have I? I had a pass in my Math's SSCE which is tantamount to a failure because without math's, you wouldn't get admission into any university. Somehow however, no-one made me feel bad. In fact, with the number of A's before the pass and the fact that I never really liked Maths, I was congratulated for my results. I did have to make up Maths in GCE to go on, of course.
My next 'failure", I think was with ICAN. Anyone who has had the huge 'misfortune' to be tied to that examination will understand the feeling of pure defeat that comes with ICAN. To most accountants, this is the peak of their entire training (actually it is). Without it, their four odd years or, more in university, work experience of 14years (or more) and work accolades to boot, mean absolutely nothing. I've seen grown men mature from young adults to father of four still battling the dreaded ICAN to prove their "self worth".
I attempted this 'great exam' in 2000. It was the only reason I 'worked' my NYSC to Lagos so I could have the benefit of a good tuition school (they say the best ones are here). I failed all four papers. In 2001, failed two papers and passed the other two. In 2002, I failed one paper and passed three. The 'grandfathers of the trade' began to assure me that all was well. That ICAN just had a way of testing your patience. They swapped stories over my head of the '18 times or 24 times they had written ICAN, I politely told them I wasn't impressed and pulled out of the race. The truth? I NEVER REALLY LIKED ACCOUNTING! Oh please keep that a secret since I earn a living as an Accountant in a Finance Department of a multinational company.
In life, I have always liked communication, to reach and impact on people, plus I have a flair for the written word (I'd like to believe). I also love to read. So when my office gave me the opportunity to undergo a distance-learning Masters in Mass Communication, I was over the moon, I spent close to two years battling with books; the web and pregnancy to submit my different course works to Leicester University and fulfill my dreams of doing something I love and getting °a qualification to back it up!
A failure in my last assignment has kept me blue in the last few days. Re-reading the assignment, I can see how careless I had become. I had gotten so used to passing my course work even writing it a week to submission that I expected to sail through this. The scathing remarks of the second marker are burned in my brain. In fact, I'm sure if I was a full time student, he would have given me a resounding slap.
I think I'm going to do a PHD in Mass communication.
It's a shame with Islam; we do not feel this blow. Even with the cries of our brothers at war or on the streets begging or even the ones in the environment that scorn the blessings of Allaah, we still fail to see and feel our failure. A large "F" also blots the horizon of this ummah. My heart is heavy when I see the failure that plays out before my eyes and as usual the sarcastic and cruel insults to our beloved deen by those who are nothing like my masters tutor (who can boast of requisite knowledge), Any two-bit columnist or "converted from Islaam" person, claims the right to trash and bin the words of Allaah in the name of modernization!
But like my MA, I see the beauty ahead in the horizon. In bits and pieces, we pick up the insult and tirades and invite to Allaah's way with beautiful words and sensible arguments. We will endure with good teaching and perseverance ·Iike we have been taught by the best of mankind. This religion has been perfected 1400 years ago and will prevail! We are spurred on.
I shelve the 'F' and the hurtful insults and send a polite mail to my tutor asking for guidance on how best to approach this renewed submission. The Muslims have not degenerated too far beyond redemption and they are not failures. With the beautiful way of life that Allaah has bestowed upon us; we Muslims can never be failures. And this student is definitely not a failure!