To communicate is to let people know you, and allow them to come to mutual understanding with you. If they do, they will respect you. This process, however, involves sharing your ideas and feelings with people honestly. What to note. Judgement and Interpretation. A major problem in dealing with people is prejudgement and interpretation. If Allaah does not judge a person until his life is over, why should we? The Prophet [peace and blessings be upon him] taught us that deeds are judged by their ends [Bukhari].
We should replace evaluation and judgement of people with factual description of behaviour. For example, do not say someone is dirty; say he stinks, spits on the floor, or throws litter in the street. No one can dispute these statements of fact. It is not what happened that causes people to feel bad, but rather their interpretation of what happened. For example, if someone does not say taslim to you at a gathering, you will feel bad if you think he purposely ignored you. But if you think he did not see you, you will feel alright. Thus, the same event has two completely different interpretations and judgement.
b. The Prophetic Way. People put on deceptive looks because they are afraid of being discovered and rejected. In order to prevent this, we should receive them with love and accept them the way they are. We have to be honest, genuine and spontaneous. Treat people with care, gentleness and encouragement. Be sensitive to their needs and show them sympathy and affection. We have to be understanding. Allaah described the Prophet [peace and blessings be upon him]: "Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger [Muhammad} from amongst yourselves [i.e. you know well}. It grieves him that you should receive any injury or difficulty. He is anxious over you: for the believer [he] is full of pity, kind and merciful. [Q 9: 128] Allaah also says; "It is part of the Mercy of Allaah that you deal gently with them. Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from you ... [Q 3:159]. This explains how kindness of the Prophet [peace and blessings be upon him] attracted others. On the other hand, it asserts that if the Prophet [peace and blessings be upon him] were severe and hard hearted, people would have distanced themselves from him.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited