Smoking, listening to music, watching TV for a long lime or watching forbidden things on the TV, keeping boyfriends or girlfriends, etc. are blameworthy habits that a person needs to work on since all of these are forbidden. Habit can be defined in so many ways. But basically the definitions that we are interested in are the following according to Microsoft Encarta dictionary;
1. Regularly repeated behavior pattern: an action or pattern of behavior that is repeated so often that it becomes typical of somebody, although he or she may be unaware of it.
2. Attitude: somebody’s attitude or general disposition
3. Addiction: an addiction to a drug or a character trait.. From the above definitions, we can see that habits in themselves are not necessarily evil or bad. Some habits are good and encouraged. For example if someone if has the habit of waking up at night to pray the Tahajjud prayer, we will say this is a habit and a good one for that matter. Also, if there is someone who is of the habit of fasting every Monday and Thursday of every week, we will also-say the person has formed a habit and an encouraging one too.
On the other hand, smoking, listening to music, watching T.V for a long time or watching forbidden things on the T.V, keeping boyfriends or girlfriends, etc. are blameworthy habits that a person needs to work on since all of these are forbidden by Allaah and His Messenger [peace and blessings of AIIaah be upon him]. So clearly, habits are of two types; the good and the bad. In this edition, we look at ways of getting rid of bad habits that anyone of us might be engaged in.
Things to know about bad habits
1. Habits usually develop over time: Habits ordinarily don’t jump one anyone. It is something that some started one day and gradually continued and over time it is repeated over and over again so much that it becomes a second nature to the person involved. The best is that it is not started at all. For example, a chain smoker probably started out with one stick one day. Then, after taking one stick a day for some time, then he moves to more than one in a day, then he eventually becomes a chain smoker.
2. Habits are very challenging to break: There are a few things that are as challenging as stopping or breaking a habit since it is a daily routine and almost part of the personality. It is no surprises therefore that people find it difficult to drop bad habits. However, it is not impossible to break it.
3. Bad habits are sins which Allaah forbids.
Evil effects of engaging in bad habits
1. Like it has been mentioned above, bad habits are sins and every sin that a person engages in [especially the major sins] the person makes the person liable to the punishment of Allaah.
2. Bad habits have harmful effects on a person’s well-being especially in terms of his health. Someone who is a drunkard will at a point in time in life lose his reasoning ability. Also, the person who is a chain-smoker risks the dreaded disease called cancer.
3. Bad habits destroy ones relationship with others. People ordinarily don’t want a person who is a chain-smoker stay around them because they will be offended by the smell oozing from his body.
4. The person who is addicted to a particular thing is usually not in control of himself. The thing that he is addicted to dictates how he lives his life for him.
5. The person who has a habit of smoking, drinking alcohol, drug, etc. usually suffer financial problems. This is because the first they consider when they have some money is how to satisfy the evil habit even when the money could have been used for something that would have been beneficial to them financially. Steps to kicking out bad habits With what has been said so far about bad habits, what should come to the mind of a Muslim who may have one bad habit of the other is to get rid of it completely. A lot of people try to do this, but they find out that they keep going back to it after a short while.
This is because this it has become second nature to them. Also, Shaytan makes it look to them they cannot do without that thing. This is never true. It only takes some seriousness and determination on the part of the person involved to break this bad habit. Let us look at some steps that can be taken in order to get out of the shackles of bad habits.
1. Acknowledge and identify your bad habits: First step is to admit you need to change. If you are in a state of denial, you won’t recognize that you have a bad habit to change.
2. Pick a habit for 30 days: Prioritize your bad habits and focus on one for 30 days. Take a 30-day trial to re-condition your habits. If you are committed to changing at least one habit, you will see remarkable results, insha Allaah. Remember how effective we all become in Ramadan? To every 30 days to a month of renewal for yourself.
3. Realize that it’s in us to change: Don’t believe the old saying, "You can’t teach an old dog new tricks." You can break a bad habit if you really want to. No one else can change your habits, if you don’t want to.
4. Remember, Allaah loves those who commit mistakes and repent: Prophet Muhammad [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said:
"By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allaah would sweep you out of existence and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allaah, and He would have pardoned them."[Muslim]
5. Intention & plan to change: "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." A healthy process of change in character requires a gradual pace, which entails planning. Develop concrete milestones to measure your progress.
6. Replace a bad habit with a good one: Completely eliminating a habit is more challenging than replacing it with a more productive habit. Moreover, it’s crucial to replace the lost natural needs, such as the need to socialize and to be entertained with something healthy. For instance, it’s easier to replace or balance your addiction to TV with a physical workout or reading, than to suddenly remove the TV from your life. Interestingly, Prophet Muhammad, the greatest psychologist of humanity, illustrated this principle in these words:
"Fear Allaah wherever you may be; follow up an evil deed with a good one which will wipe (the former) out, and behave good naturedly towards people. "[Tirmidhi]
7. Change your environment: Resist the negative peer pressure by finding a better company of friends. Collective action to change is very powerful. Prophet Muhammad explained this peer pressure effect with this analogy:
"A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace. " [Bukhari & Muslim]
8. Exercise (physical and spiritual): A habit of regular physical exercise is obviously important for lasting weight loss. But you may not realize that exercise helps in eliminating a number of bad habits. For example, among smokers who become competitive runners, for example, over 80% give up smoking. Moreover, exercising your will power (struggle to fight temptations) for 30 days helps you kick all kinds of bad habits and form new good ones. Willpower is like a muscle; the more you exercise it, the more you strengthen it.
9. Think of yourself as a changed, different, new person: This simple psychological shift in your thinking about your own image can do wonders. Tell yourself, "I can’t continue this ill-behavior, I am better than that, I am stronger, I am wiser."
10. Reward success: The most fundamental law in all of psychology is the "law of effect." It simply states that actions followed by rewards are strengthened and likely to recur. Unfortunately, studies show that people rarely use this technique when trying to change personal habits. Setting up formal or informal rewards for success greatly increases your chances of transforming bad habits into good ones, and is far more effective than punishing yourself for bad habits or setbacks. As Muslims we should also remember that the ultimate reward is Allaah’s Pleasure and Paradise in the Hereafter.
11.limit your bad habits: If you are really struggling to kick a bad habit, try limiting the habit to a specific time and place. Research and case studies confirm that this rather unconventional approach can be a useful first step in changing bad habits or learning new good ones.
12. Tell someone about your effort to change if it helps: He or she may keep you on track.
13. Resolve to continue on and follow up: Giving up bad habits or learning good habits requires regular maintenance and determination, it is a long ongoing process, also known Tazkiyyah" in Islamic terminology. It’s more difficult than the first few steps of change. ("How many times have I dieted, for example, only to gain the weight back?")
14. Remind yourself of death and hereafter often: "Remember often the terminator (or destroyer) of all the pleasures [i.e. death]," the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] once stated. [Tirmidhi]
15. Develop a relapse strategy: How do you ensure not to return to your bad habit you are trying to change? Some people donate money to a good cause every time they return to sinning or a bad habit. This reminds them of the cost of going back to old bad habits. Others try physically demanding acts to deter them from reverting to old ways.
16. Ask Allaah for help: Last but not least, make asking for Allaah’s Help an integral part of the overall change process. Ask for Allaah’s Help before, during and after every attempt at kicking a bad habit. Do so sincerely, even begging and crying, like a child does when he or she really wants something. Allaah is Ever-Willing to help and to respond to our needs, but it is us who must take the first step towards Him.
"And whosoever is conscious of Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He (AIlaah) will make a way for him to get out (from) every (difficulty), and He will provide him from (sources) he could never imagine. "[Q65:2-3]
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited