One of the norms of everyday living is interacting with other people. Whether with family, friends, colleagues, classmates or others, the choice is practically taken out of our hands. No matter who you are or where you live, you cant but relate with others. As the saying goes, No man is an Island. Even if you decide not to have any friends, you wouldnt cast off your family would you? There are also those so many other people - the people at your local Masjid, the man or woman in the shop where you buy things, the bus-conductor, your teachers in school and so on.
What would you do about them? One of the many wonders of Allaah is that He has created us all with no two people being exactly the same. Even identical twins have some differences which help to tell them apart. It therefore goes without saying that as long as we have been created as different individuals with different interests; we are bound to disagree from time to time. Even the closest relationships suffer a little setback from time to time.
Such setbacks or misunderstandings if well settled are meant to eventually strengthen us. In every misunderstanding or dispute, either one or both parties would be in the wrong. The most rational thing to do is to work things out and for the person or persons who wronged the other to apologize. The most widely accepted way of apologizing is to say Im sorry. , You bump into someone, arrive late for classes, mistakenly drop an item belonging to someone else, step on someones toes, miss an appointment or even hurt someone; you try to make amends by saying these words. But, how sincere are you when you use them? The Yorubas say Pele lako, o labo meaning there are two sides to saying Im sorry. Im in complete agreement with this proverb.
You could either offer a sincere apology or a get off my case type. When we have truly wronged someone else, there is no salve to the persons wounded ego like a heartfelt apology. Saying youre sorry with remorse and if possible assuring him or her that such would not repeat itself may not undo the wrong, but it would sure make them feel less aggrieved. There are times when we feel that we have done no wrong and the other party is being unnecessarily difficult. At such times, the only way to let peace reign may be to apologize. Being really contrite is important in tendering any apologies.
One should never feel reluctant to say Im sorry and really mean it. Beyond that, we should ensure that such occurrence does not repeat itself. Imagine someone offending you and then tendering an arrogant apology; it would make you feel taken for granted. So what if this person actually seems sincere when apologizing but continues to offend you the same way and apologize; every time promising not to repeat it. I wonder which would be more painful and difficult to stomach. If it is annoying to us, why do it to others? We have always been taught to do unto others what we would want to be done to us.
Or do we think others have thicker skins than us and so deserve such treatment? Let us examine our relationship with Allaah; dont we sometimes act in the same way? Dont we sometimes commit some sins and upon realising our mistake cry and beg His forgiveness only return to our sinful ways? Allaah says: "And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, but then seeks forgiveness from Allaah, he will find Allaah Forgiving and Merciful." - Soorah 4(An-Nisaa):110
So, we feel sorry, seek forgiveness and after a while retrace our steps. This cycle goes on and on and not even the fear of Allaah can prevent us from our blunder. Our excuse is often that we are human and cannot hut commit sin. W take solace also in the verse that says: "For Allaah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. " - Soorah 3(AIImraan): 31
The honest truth is that we do not wrong anyone but ourselves! The best apology (whether to Allaah or our fellow humans) is that for which we are genuinely sorry . and try our best possible not to repeat such acts. Always bear in mind that just as a truly repentant heart earns Allaahs forgiveness and mercy, a polite and true apology makes a person happier! Salam Alaikum! Do you know the meaning of the words below? If not please check them up in the Dictionary. You can also have fun finding words that have similar or the same meaning to them. Ma salam!
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited