Praise is to A1laah, the Lord of the worlds. May the peace and blessings of A1laah be upon Muhammad, His last Messenger, his household, his companions and all those who follow him till the Last Day.
Permitted With Conditions
No... do not close this page just yet! Yes, you may think that talking about polygamy is putting a bad foot forward in a discussion about sustaining the marriage; but please read through this short opener! Allah permits plural marriage in His Holy Book:
"And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then many (other women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice" (Q4[al-Nissa'J:3) .
It should be noted that there are conditions attached to plural marriage: Justice or fairness: As the ayah says, if a man is afraid that he will not be able to treat his wives justly if he marries more than one, then it is forbidden for him to marry more than one. What is meant by the justice that is required in order for a man to be permitted to have more than one wife is that he should treat his wives equally in terms of spending, clothing, spending the night with them and other material things that are under his control.
With regard to justice or fairness in terms of love, he is not held accountable for that, and that is not required of him because he has no control over that. This is what is meant by the verse,
"You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire" (Q4[al-Nisa']:129).
The ability to spend on one's wives: Allah says:
"And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty" (Q24[al-Noor]:33)
With this verse, Allah commands those who are able to get married but cannot find the financial means, to remain chaste. One such example is not having enough money to pay the mahr (dowry) and not being able to spend on one's wife.
Objections & Responses
One strong objection to plural marriage is the disputes, enmity and hatred that come with having co-wives in one house, and the harmful effects on the husband, children and others. Truth is that family arguments may occur even when there is only one wife, and they may not even happen when there is more than one wife, as we see in real life.
Even if we assume that there may be more arguments than in a marriage to one wife, even if we accept that they may be harmful and bad, the harm is outweighed by the many good things a plural marriage delivers to the society.
Life is not entirely bad or entirely good, but what everyone hopes is that the good will outweigh the bad, so it is with the permitted plural marriage. Moreover, each wife has the right to her own, separate accommodation as prescribed in Islam. It is not permissible for the husband to force his wives to live together in one house.
A milder but no less serious objection is that if men can have plural wives, doesn't fairness and equality demand that a woman should also have multiple husbands? Really, do women truly want that? That is certainly beneath her How would she be certain of the father of her child? How would she apportion nights and who will provide for her? This objection is counter-intuitive! No one will know the lineage of her child and no one will know who is responsible for bringing up the child. This will lead to breakdown of families, loss of ties between fathers and children, which is not permitted in Islam as it is not in the interests of the woman or of the child or of society as a whole.
What About The First Wife's Distress?
The first wife's distress when her husband marries another wife is to be expected and can be immense! Not to consider them will be playing the ostrich and burying one's head in the sand. However, Allaah has set out rules and regulations to reduce these feelings or remove them altogether, by enjoining justice, patience in the face of adversity, and so on. Still, allowing the fact that these feelings of distress and the dislike of polygamy exist to justify condemnation or the impeachment of polygamy will be self-serving and selfish!
Islam came to serve and increase people's best interests, and to reduce harmful things and render them ineffective. There is no doubt that polygamy, when practised properly in accordance with Islam, achieves many things that are in people's best interests (such as maintaining the chastity of the man who is not satisfied with one wife, taking care of and maintaining the chastity of the woman who has no husband, increasing the offspring of the Muslims, solving the problem of widows and spinsters, and of the reduced numbers of men after times of war, and soon).
As regards the bad things that happen in cases of polygamy, either they are very small when compared to its benefits, or they stem from bad application of this practice. And Allaah knows best
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited