Sex is not a subject most of us want to talk about. Our parents (most of them) dodge having to educate us about it and were mostly relieved when their girl child marries without any proof to show of having fooled around. Inside a marriage however, sex is an issue neither party should feel too self conscious about as not to be able to talk about it; particularly when he/she has certain misgivings, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Most men seldom have issues to thrash out regarding sex - their needs in bed are pretty basic and need tutorials to master. A woman on the flip side is a different story, Her needs in bed are plenty and have a major part to play in the kind of relationship she and her man would have. Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) epitomized the perfect husband in and out of bed.
Check these: he would play with his wives -his love making wasn't restricted to lights out period foreplay afterplay kissing Unfortunately, the modern man hides behind two excuses when it comes to dealing with his ignorance of his wifes sexuality. He claims to be busy eking out a living for his family or too serious about his deen to care about such trivialities as his wifes libido or lack of it. I am trying to make a point here but because this is such a sensitive issue, I am getting derailed.
Brothers you have a duty to your wife to satisfy her sexually. If you do not, you may be sitting on gun powder! Perhaps the only reason it hasnt blown you away is because your wife is conscious of Allaah. She wouldnt fall into sins just to make up for your inadequacies. What I am saying is, a woman who is dissatisfied is easy prey for the devil to lure into adultery; hijab or not! A sister who hints, suggests and woos her man and I still rebuffed may eventually find herself attracted to some guy else a colleague, a friendly neighbour, even close family friend (and we question the wisdom of Shariah separating the sexes- how paler can our wisdom be to that Allaah?).
An average married woman is faithful to the man she marries, so keep her satisfied. Brothers tend to forget that despite our being Muslims, we are still women under the hijab and still very human. They forget that every woman on the face ofthe earth would respond to her husbands basic needs, which cut across race or religion viz: Need to know you are not just a sex object but a person need to know you are appreciated, found attractive in and out of bed-total sum as a person is beyond culinary skills, baby rearing and bed warming.
What to do: play with your wife around the house now and then. This will be easy if you live alone with the kids. Otherwise have your pranks in the bedroom -surprise her once in a while. Offer to bathe her -call her up from work; ask how she is, whats up, not give an instruction or feedback for an errand -ask her to help you cut your nails. -do what it takes to keep her smiling the day when you are away............
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited