After examining and establishing the ruling regarding the waleematun-Nikaah, we shall mention here in shaa Allaah some of the etiquettes regarding the ceremony.
Waleemah After Consummation
It is better that the feasting and ceremony (the waleemah) of the Nikaah takes place after the consummation - after the Aqdun- Nikaah and the subsequent marital cohabitation between the spouses. Anas bn Maalik (RA) reported that. "The Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) cohabited with one of his wives. So. he sent me to invite people for the feast." (Bukhaari, Tirmidhee and others).
AI-Imaam Ibn Subkee (RAH) said. "What is reported from the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) is that it is after cohabitation." (Fathul-Baaree 9/287) The narration of the waleemah of the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) with Zaynab bint [ahsh (RA) also clearly point to this. (Naylul- Awtaar4/507).
Even Without a Ram or Cow It is necessary to mention that the obligation of waleemah upon the newly wed is laid-off them if the waleemah is performed without slaughtering a goat or cow or sheep or by giving any other food that may not include meat. Safiyyah bint Shaybah (RA) narrated that. "the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) made the waleemah of one of his wives with two Mudd (a measure) of barley." (Bukhaari)
AI-Imaam al- Bukhaari (RH) has collected this narration in the section with the heading. "The one who makes waleemah with less than a sheep." (Fathul-Baaree 9/293). "It is permissible to make waleemah with any food that is easy even when it does not include meat." (Aadaabuz- Zi(aa(79)
Invite the Pious
Abu Saeed al-Khudree (RA) narrated that the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said. "Do not take (or a Companion except a Mumin (believer) and let him not eat your (food except a Taqii(the one who fears Allaah)." (Abu Dawood). Commenting on this hadeeth al-Imaam al-Khattaabee (RAH) said. "This only refers to the food for which people are invited not the food of the needy." (Tuh(atul- Ahwadhee 7/64).
Cooperation of the Enriched
It is encouraged that those that Allaah has enriched out of His favours should partake in the preparation for the waleemah with their resources. Anas bn Maalik (RA) narrated that. "The Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) got newly married and said,: "Whoever has excess (food) let him come with it. So he spread a Nite (a material made of leather upon which they sit) and a man came with cheese. the other with dates. and the other with butter and they made some meal from all these and were drinking water collected from rain from the basin besides them and so was the waleemah of the Messenger(sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)." (Bukhaari and Muslim)
Do not Invite only the Rich It is not permissible to restrict the invitation for waleemah to the rich and influential leaving out the poor. The Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said. "The worst of food is the food of a Waleemah where the rich are invited and the poor are prevented." (Muslim).
Attending an Invitation
It is obligatory upon the one who was invited to a Waleemah to attend. The Messenger(sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said. "The one who does not attend the invitation has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger." (Muslim).
Abdullaah bn Umar (RA) also reported that. the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "If any of you is invited to the waleemah, let him attend it - whether the feast of marriage or any similar one - and the one who does not attend has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger." (Bukhaari and Muslim)
Attending Waleemah while Fasting, it is necessary to attend the invitation to the waleemah even while fasting. Abu Hurayrah (RA) reported that, "the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "When any of you is invited to a feast let him attend. If he is not fasting let him eat and if he Js fasting let him make dua." (Muslim). The one making a supererogatory fasting could break the fast and eat of the food of the waleemah and could also decide to keep the fast.
Umm Haanee (RA) reported that the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said. "The one observing supererogatory fast is the controller of his affairs. If he likes he (continues with the) the fast and if he likes he breaks the fast." (Nasaaee and Bayhaqee)