"We have honoured the sons of Adam; provided them with transport on land and sea; given them for sustenance things good and pure; and conferred on them special favours above a great part of Our Creation." (Q17[lsraaI]:70). Man is often pictured as an extension of the animal race. Thus it is often said about him a social animal or political animal. Quite true, man shares some characteristics with the animals. He is born, grows, eats and mates and eventually dies off just like animals. But here do (or should) the similarities end for Allaah has raised man above the level of beast: "We have honoured the sons of Adam; provided them with transport on land and sea; given them for sustenance things good and pure; and conferred on them special favours above a great part of Our Creation." (Q 17 [lsraal]: 70).
Often when a man thinks about getting married, the only thing that dominates his imagination is the specter of the expected joys - the night-outs, the fulfillment of sexual desire, a woman at his beck and call and other niceties. Incidentally, the he-goat too has similar thoughts to this, He comes into a she-goat and he practically saunters away after his desires are fulfilled. Man, the true man should rise above the level of the beast.
JOY WITH A STRING ATTACHED
The fact remains that gold has no value except it I mined. For the man, satisfying sexual desire comes with a string attached. The Rasul (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "He who is able to marry should marry because it will help him to refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing , illegal sexual relation; and he who is not able to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power. " (Bukhari)
The condition for marriage in Islam is ability (baa a): A major responsibility that a man owes to his wife and one of the foundations upon which marital relationship is built is sex - lawful sex. Once a man is not able to discharge this obligation, it is forbidden for him to marry. The other foundation upon which marriage rests is, Nafaqah (material support). Ability to support the wife is one of the distinguishing features of manliness. Allah says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other and because they support them from their means." (Q4[Nisaa]:34)
Once a man cannot fulfill this obligation, then the obligation of marrying is lifted from him. He is therefore urged to fast to keep the first ability (of sex) in check. Thus, if a man is lacking in either ability; he should not marry. Once married, the man must be sufficient for the her sufficient for her material needs, sufficient for her physical and mental needs and sufficient for her social needs.
HE IS COMPASSIONATE: "Whenever Fatima came into the room the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) would stand up, welcome her, kiss her and offer her his seat, and whenever he came into the room, she would stand up, take his hand, welcome him, kiss him, and offer him her seat. When she came to see him during his final illness he welcome her and kissed her."(Bukhari, Muslim)
HELL IN THE KITTY: If the man fails to honour the marriage contract, he could end up in Hell-Fire! By the same contract, the woman and her children (from the man) become his responsibility. Their feeding, clothing, shelter and guidance altogether has to be taken care of by the man. The wife is not obliged to go out to seek her own sustenance. Rather, she is obliged to remain in her husband’s house and goes out only with his permission.
In Islam, once you are the reason why a creature cannot fend for himself, then you are responsible for all his needs about which Allah will question you. The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: A woman was tortured and was put in Hell because of a cat which she had kept locked till it died of hunger. Allah said (to the woman) you neither fed it, nor watered it when you locked it up, nor did you set it free to eat the insects of the earth." (Bukhari). A cat sure does have a right but the right of a human is greater than that of a cat. Once a man fails in his responsibility of Nafaqah for the family, he risks being punished in Hell.
HEAD OR TAIL? In Allah's infinite wisdom; He has not left the basic foundation of Islamic society - the family without organization, leadership and guidance. All these are clearly upon the husbands shoulders and he will be held accountable by Allah: The Rasul (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "All of you are shepherds and all of you will be asked about your wards. The ruler is a shepherd and shall be asked about his wards. The man is a y, shepherd of his family and will be asked about his wards." (Bukhari). Did he make the decision that is most befitting for his family in this life and the Hereafter or did he simply follow his desires? When the man satisfies the need for nafaqah and sexual desire of his wife, he still needs to do more to rise above the level of the beast. He has to provide an all-encompassing guidance for his family.
When Allah says: "Men are in charge of women ... " (Q4[Nisaa]:34), it is in a broad sense. The word for in charge of (qawwaam) in Arabic indicates also support, protection, leadership and guidance. In another version of the hadith about the shepherds, the Rasul (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) continued: "... until the man will be asked about the people in his household: did he establish among them the Law of Allah or did he allow it to become lost?" (Bukhari) The husband/father (the shepherd of the family) must take all necessary steps to ensure that all those under his guardianship (wives and children) have the opportunity and means to acquire the knowledge they need to worship Allah and live their lives as Allah has prescribed in order to be saved from Hell Fire: "0 you who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah but do (precisely) what they are commanded." (Q66[Tahrim]:6).
PARTING SHOT
The current level corruption in societies is a direct consequence of the dereliction of these responsibilities and living below the level of the beast. Until conscious efforts to understand this rule and operate within the bounds, then the status quo remains unchanged. "Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls)." (Q 13[Rad:11)
UPHOLDING TIES Of KINSHIP: The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allah created the creations, and when He finished from His creations, Ar- Rahm, i.e., womb, said, (O Allah) at this place I seek refuge With You from all those who sever me (i.e. sever the ties of kinship) Allah said; Yes, won’t you be pleased that I will keep good relations With the one who will keep good relations With you, and I will-sever the relation with the one who will sever the relations with you. It said, "Yes. O my Lord. Allah said, Then that is for you.(Bukhari)
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited