Have you ever been at a point where all you needed at that particular moment was just a kind word, or just someone to hold your hand while you cry out your pain? Have you ever felt that you are all alone, unloved and condemned to lifes unending struggles and trials? Have you ever needed just one person to understand what you are going through? Sometimes in life, we find ourselves in positions like these when we feel that our worlds were falling apart.
Positions where someone who has totally lost the will and Eemaan (faith) or didnt have either in the first place take the cowardly way out by taking their own lives. Such feelings of loneliness, sadness, misery and hopelessness are usually brought on by a number of situations and circumstances. It could be due to childlessness or a bad marriage, it could be the loss of a loved one or having bad neighbours. It could come from the frustrations of problematic children or the difficult boss at work; it could be because of heavy debt burden, abusive relationships or the news of being a person living with HIV/AIDS... the list goes on. Here is one womans experience.
I was diagnosed with HIV 11 years ago. [Here is how it happened]. When I was 15years old I ran away. I did the drug scene and was put into a lot of bad circumstances. I returned home when I was almost 17, only to find out I was pregnant. It wasn't until my son, was about 4 months old that we found out why he was always so sick. He was admitted into a Children's Hospital for a hernia operation. It was there that the doctor asked if he could do an AIDS test.
Well I never even gave it a thought that it might come back positive. Two weeks later however, we were told that my son had full-blown AIDS and that meant I was positive also. I felt like my life has been turned upside down and that this could not be happening. From that time and for the next few years I was in complete denial, so much so that at one point the county and city Health Departments were going to have me committed because I just could not deal with this disease. I was convinced that even though my son was dying, the doctors had misdiagnosed him. He died not long after he was diagnosed. But still I could not make myself believe that he died of AIDS.
I went on like I was not infected and ended up giving birth to another child three years later who was 3 months premature and also had full blown AIDS. By this time I was beginning to come to terms with this disease. But my little girl also passed away from AIDS. Here I was at 19 years old and I had already killed 2 of my precious babies. I began sharing my story with our local teens. Because I believe so that if I can help one teen or one person to see that having sex outside marriage (to a faithful partner) is not worth the consequences, this disease has been worth the fight.
I will continue to try and reach as many people as I can. Anonymous A sad and touching story; but one with a lot of issues! Did your heart skip a beat and you are examining your own not-too-distant past? Or is your heart filled with disgust for the womans wild life and self righteousness that you would never find yourself in a situation like that? Many civil (and not so-civil) organizations societies have increasingly taken up advocacy in terms of support for HIV/AID person and fighting for their rights. What about the Muslim Ummah? Some might argue that Islam cannot be associated with a disease that is contracted through promiscuous behaviour, maybe but how about a faithful wife and a straying husband who rewards his wife's obedience and subservience with a killer gift?, a medical personnel whose only crime is that he or she does the job of saving lives; and then gets caught up with the disease? lnfact, what about the wayward individual whose life choices led to the disease but now wants a way back to the right path of rectitude and submission to Allaah? lndeed, what about the wild, negligent and disobedient Muslim who has the disease but is still unrepentant? Do you just abandon such people and go with the ostrich approach by burying your head in the sand and pretend that the problem is not there?
And so what if a person leads (or led) a wild life or just got carried away or careless for a few minutes? Does that make such person undeserving of our compassion? As Muslims we need to reclaim the right of caring for our own, protecting them and being there for them.
A person in pain needs support. Such support can come in form of visits, periodic meeting etc. that will enable persons with similar problems. Share their experiences and hold hands of comfort. The woman whose story was related above later put aside her problem and decided to help others to either prevent them falling into the same problem like hers or just being there for them. Support can also come in form of definite and organized advocacy for the attainments of such peoples' rights such as widows' rights, support groups for battered and abused women, PWAs (People Living With Aids) e.t.c.
The point is that each one of us could need comforting and counseling someday, and giving it to a needy person now could mean saving it in a bank for yourself! One last thing, a person looking for comfort, is already at zero level and will seek help from wherever and in whatever guise! As your read this make a definite plan to reach out to someone. You could start from your neighborhood or maybe your local mosque.
No need to call it any big sounding name, just indicate that anybody who needs care and comfort can reach out for it and you will be amazed at the response! May Allaah make the Ummah strong and put in our hearts true love for each other such that we can be the quality in each other's lives that will keep us hanging on and going forth and with strong eemaan too! Amin.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited