Peer pressure is strong among teenagers and young people. Perhaps too strong! There is a strong desire for many young people to want to be like other people of their age, even when they don’t like some of the things they do. The desire to belong to the group makes it seem like you have no choice or escape. So it becomes a case of "if you cannot beat them then join them! For teenagers, it is rampant for friends to influence one another either in a good or bad way. Most of the time one never knows how this influence goes on, since there is no obvious pressure. But in reality the influence is there.
It does not necessarily have to be stated or something done with force, rather it is mostly a matter that deals with one’s mind and gradually it is accepted. If asked whether the decision was made through the influence of friends, the answer will be No, because the person believes the decision was made by himself alone. Different types of influence occur amongst peer groups. Some are good e.g. performing Salaah, wearing hijab, studying etc, while some are bad e.g. smoking, rudeness to the parents, neglecting Salaah the list goes on and on. As Muslim youths, we must keep company of friends. However, we should always keep the company of the righteous because this is the command of Allaah. He says:
"O you who believe! Fear Allaah and keep your duty to Him and always be in the company of the righteous." (Q9:119).
How would you know a righteous company? It is one that will help you achieve the command of Allaah. He says:
"...Help you one another in Al Birr and At- Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression ... " (Q5:2)
Khadeejah, for example, prayed whenever she liked. Nobody told her to pray at her house and she saw it as doing someone a favour whenever she prayed, until she started moving with Jameelah, Hawwa and others who never neglected their salaah and were.
Constantly talking about Islaam, In no time, Khadeejah had started praying and she too began to influence her younger sister and even her mother. Now she is always in the company of Jameelah and others after school. As for Tajudeen, peer pressure became beer pressure. His S.S.S 3 friends did not care about Islaam; only two out of the group of eight that he stays with are even Muslim.
Each one of them had a bad nickname, thus Tajudeen soon became T-Zero. Later, they started calling him T-Five! Apparently he had moved from not taking any glass of alcohol (zero) to someone who could take five bottles of beer at a sitting! Abu Musa al-Ashari (RA) narrated that Allaahs Messenger (peace and blessing be upon him) said:
"The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad, one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmiths bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof. "(Bukharee)
The above hadith implies that a good companion is like a very nice scent, which one will like to have on, while a bad companion is like the nasty odour of burnt charcoal. Being in the company of the unrighteous has various implications for a person both mentally and spiritually. The greatest implication is that which it has on ones Eemaan (faith). Bad unrighteous company leads to DISOBEDIENCE OF ALLAAH! How? You might not see it as disobeying Allaah out- rightly, but that is the truth.
Take the instance when you are in the company of friends and you are studying together (good act), then the time for salaah arrives and they tell you;"You Fanatic! Can’t you wait until later, to combine all your salawaat (prayers)?" and you reason along with them (bad act). See! You have obeyed mankind above your Lord Who commands that the prayers should be said at their appropriate time. The Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him) said:
"There is no obedience for created things in a matter of disobedience to the Creator. "(Muslim).
A line has to be drawn when dealing with friends, they ought to know your stand on issues whether they like it or not! You don’t always have to suck up to them because you don’t want to upset them or destroy the friendship. A true and righteous friend will understand this and will certainly encourage you. And if you cannot beat them, then you have a choice to say: you have a choice to say: I DON"T WANT A PART OF THIS! Therefore, if you can’t beat them, don’t join them!
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited