Allahu Akbar .... ! Up! It's the start of another day. You rush into the bathroom, hurriedly perform ablution, Salaah follows rapidly, can't afford to waste any time, there's so much to be done! Rush to prepare breakfast, get the children ready for school, get ready for the office / the market or cleaning up the house after the children leaves for school, wash, scrub; clean, mop ... What? It's time to start preparing lunch, do a quick Salaah, the children are back, feed them, sort out their things, help them with their homework while you prepare dinner, iron and settle fights in between, hurry through Asr, start getting the children ready for bed, serve them dinner, daddy just got back, its time to attend to him. Magrib just went and you hardly noticed, oh well Allaah sees that it wasn't intentional! The children are finally settled for the night. You clear up, wash the dishes, throw out the thrash, put away the toys, get the childrens clothes ready for the next day, dad wants to chat but, hell just have to wait, there's so much to be done, besides you still have that presentation you have to submit to your boss the next day ... finally, you look longingly at your bed, but alas .. your day is not over yet ... duty calls! Tonight, you yawn through it all, ignoring the little voice reminding you of the little white lie you told about the headache two nights ago and how you fell right asleep the night before! At least no excuses tonight, you have made up for it ... somehow! At last! Sweet bed! Allahu Akbar! What?! Already? But you just slept! There's no time to perform Salaah, youll do it as soon as you finish your chores ... you tell yourself ...!
When last did you take a good look at yourself or is it what you have become? Can you honestly beat your chest and say that you are fulfilled as, a servant of Allaah, an individual, a daughter, sister, a wife or mother? Let us start with our expectations in life, do you have expectations, aspirations, goals, a vision for your existence in this world and the Hereafter? As Muslim women, many believe that their living should revolve around the home, in various capacities, first as daughter and sister, then as wife and mother. And rightly so too, but to what end? How about the ones who want half and half, some of life in the home and some in the society, earning a living, expressing her own individuality in some way or another? Of course the ratio is often times not tilted in the favour of the home, still these women struggle to find a balance in a precarious game of juggling. Then there is the percentage of women, yes .. some are Muslim women; clad in the razor sharp-kill-themcorporate identity, who live for the moment, moving with the tide, enjoying the thrills that their feminity arouses. They live their philosophy of using what you have to get what you want to the fullest. Some even fulfill their religious identity by attending the weekly Asalatuor the more fashionable Sunday-Sunday lectures held by some organizations. How fulfilled are they in the long run? Does it end with endless diaper changes, making gourmet dishes for a kind word or two from our spouses and washing dishes that never ceases to get dirty?
Fulfillment is a concept of absolute satisfaction in a state of being that cannot be conjured or faked. Its a feeling that stems from within. Having a home full of very active children and a husband who has a selective hearing problem is not an excuse for an untidy and smelly home or in the other extreme a high BP trying to get the best kept house of the Year Award! A husband who has a huge appetite is not an excuse for smelly and unkempt hair, nor an excuse for not caring for your body and dressing up nicely, Cos you think, if he wasnt okay with me, why does he keep coming back for more? Could it be that the weight of his purse cant carry his need for a fresh and lawful alternative? And that, sister dear is just a matter of time! Those whod been there ... still there, can tell you! Does each drop of your sweat as you fulfill your obligations remind of the rivers of paradise or do they make you grumble and swear when those that you serve do not appreciate all that you do? You spend so much time on others and hardly have enough time for yourself even when you know that each will be asked on that Day? You rush through salaah and have to dust off the cover when you do remember or have the time to read the Quraan ... for what? So that your children dont get late for school? Or that you have an engagement somewhere that is guaranteed to bring in some money? Has your life become routine, just living from day to day, whether in your husbands house or on the streets. Where is the joy? Where is the contentment? What would you do having sacrificed most of your life for your husband, your children, job, then out of the blues, the husband comes home one day and says you are no longer the love of his life, hes found a new one, younger and more beautiful than you are, a child who betrays you and treats you with careless abandon, or an employer who. decides one day that you are dispensable after all ! When you see how the new wife gets away with things you would have been sent packing for and you ask yourself, was this what the sacrifice was for? Take a good look at yourself, if you cant bear to look at yourself, much less tell yourself the truth... then nobody will! Start by appreciating yourself and making sure its really all about you.
Whether you are serving your husband or your children, caring for your parents or looking out for your siblings, it has to be because you know that you will be rewarded by the best reward of all and not just because you want appreciation and words of praise. It must be because it gives you fulfillment knowing that you seek Allaahs Pleasure. Feed your soul constantly with His Words and Remembrance. Express your individuality doing things that gives you pleasure in a Halaal manner and maybe as an added bonus, brings joy into other peoples' lives. Take care of your body, youll be amazed at how therapautic that can be, why do you think the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa salam) likened cleaniness to half of faith? Some people go through life seeing the rainbow at the end of the storm, others see only the uprooted trees and dead fish floating on the water ... Only you can decide on whose side you belong.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited